My Feelings

I sit here today thinking about how I have been feeling lately.  I would have to say for the past three months I have just been getting moodier and moodier. My hormones are all over the place. It seems like everything is going wrong all the time,  with work, home, etc. I just feel like blowing up at everything.  I know it has everything to do with my PCOS.  I just get so frustrated with everything that has to do with this disease.   From my weight, to not being able to have a baby, it has taken so much away from me that I want and can not have. I have a great husband that loves me for me but I find I do not love myself the way that I am. I am in here somewhere, in this fat suit and I am screaming to get out. I find that I become so miserable with my illness that I don't see what is right in  front of me. I stopped dreaming of what I have wanted in my life because it just feels useless to even think about wanting things. 

I was told yesterday by someone that I have to stop and think before I react to the situation and get my stress level back down.  I know that this is true I just get a little off track when trying because I am so caught up in what is going on in my body and how miserable I am. ~ Tammy

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