I am very discouraged today in my battle with food. I lost 65 pounds last year. I was doing great, eating right and feeling
great. I was starting to get the real
me back that has been hiding inside of this cocoon. The holidays hit last year and I went off the path of eating
right. Then I told myself as long as I
eat right five or six days out of the week and eat what I want one or two days
a week I should be okay. Then that one
or two days slowly turned into seven days a week. Its not even that I eat a lot, but with PCOS or being insulin
resistant I could eat fruits and that sugar could turn to fat. I kind of feel like I am burned out on most
vegetables and most healthy foods. It
is such a struggle to find healthy foods again that are fresh and new.
I almost
feel like I am a physically abused women.
I feel that good tasting, fattening foods are my abuser. I crave and want those foods so badly and
the minute I eat them I feel extremely sick and miserable. I wish I could feel sick and miserable like
that when I am hungry again instead of running right back to the abuser for
another beating. I feel like an
alcoholic only with food.
Unfortunately, I cannot abstain from food, but alcoholics can abstain
from alcohol. Since I slowly went back
to eating poorly I have put over half the weight back on that I have lost. I know in this journey I will have up days
and down days. I just long for the days
of being back in that mindset of eating healthy and loosing weight. ~ Tammy
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