Last week I ended the week out with a blog that was more about emotions and the hardships that women are facing with Pcos and pregnancy. Today I have decided to kind of follow along with that. As I stated in last weeks blog I have suffered through multiple miscarriages, dealt with the heartache of being told that there wasn't going to be a baby this time, had doctors tell me that it was basically my fault that I miscarried because I was doing this wrong or that wrong, and finally got to the point that I was just done. No more trying, no more caring, just whatever happens happens. I have read where a few are you are to one or more of those places now. I want to share some information that I have found about Pcos and miscarriage, as well as my thoughts and feelings. I want to hear about your thoughts and feelings as well, Where are you in this process? How did you work through it?
The information that I found:
To start things off there are Two different statements that I think every woman who has suffered a miscarriage needs to read.
" Remember that whether you lose weigh or not, your odds of having a successful next pregnancy are higher then your odds of having another miscarriage." (Obesity and Miscarriage- The Link between body weight and Pregnancy Loss)
" The link between miscarriages and obesity should never be oversimplified to say that miscarriages are the woman's fault for eating too much and not exercising. Very few people are obese by choice, and a person's weight often involves a complex inter-working of Physiological and psychological factors that have to be over come in order to lose weight." (Obesity and Miscarriage- The Link between body weight and Pregnancy Loss)
I don't know about any of you, but every time that I lost a child I always felt like it was my fault. If I would have eaten better, not been so stressed, not worked so hard, relaxed more, and the lists could go on and on. If I would have or wouldn't have done these things then I would be a mommy right now and not dealing with another loss. It took me years to get to the point through the support of a fantastic doctor, my family, friends and the support that I found within different groups on Facebook and on the internet to realize that it wasn't my fault. I was doing what the doctors told me was ok to do. But when you suffer a loss like that you are so hurt and angry that you have to put the blame on someone or something and at that point you have nowhere to put it so you blame yourself.
There is not a lot of research that can pin point an exact reason as to why a miscarriage happens. There is some statistics that make it clear that obesity is linked to miscarriage.
-Obesity (which is something many women with PCOS suffer from) can increase the risk of recurrent miscarriages
- It can also be the reason why a miscarriage happens in the first place. (there is no solid evidence on this matter that I have been able to find)
- It is possible that the factors that make women obese are the same factors that cause the miscarriages in women who are obese.
- One theory related to the higher incident of miscarriage in women with PCOS is that it is related to elevated insulin levels.
- For women who have PCOS and are pregnant the higher levels of insulin may possibly interfere with the normal blood clotting in a women's body.
- The higher levels of insulin may result in increased blood clotting at the spot between the uterine lining and the placenta, which leads to the failure of the placenta being able to supply nutrients to the fetus and to remove toxic wastes. This ultimately leads to a miscarriage.
There are so many studies out there that say this or that can lead to miscarriage, but I still have yet to find hard core proof that one single thing leads to miscarriage, unless it is blunt trauma to a woman's stomach from a car accident or something along those lines. I am going to continue researching to see if something is solid in facts that leads directly to miscarriage.
After reading all the information that I have on this matter the thoughts run through my head " If the doctors and scientists and researchers cant figure out for sure what is causing miscarriages, how can I blame myself for it." I have found that when I go through traumatic things in my life I want the answers, I want hard core proof of why something happened. Not the answers of well it could be this or that or maybe even this. When you lose a precious baby you are never able to get the hard core answers, you are never given the proof that we so desperately want and need. So the first thing that we do is blame ourselves. We try to take the blame and say things like " if my stupid body would just work right for once", or we play the what if game. This leads to depression and a lot of other issues if it goes on for to long.
So ladies I am letting you know today that even if you have had miscarriages in the past there is hope for you. There are things that you can do to help make your body better prepared for your precious gift from God. Does it mean that if you do these things and follow all the rules that you will be able to get pregnant and not have a miscarriage.... I cant answer that, and I dont think there is a doctor in this world that could answer that and be 100 percent right every time. But what I can say is that these things help prepare your body for having a baby, they give you a better chance of being able to get pregnant and carrying full term. They are just to help, no guarantees, no promises, just suggestions that doctors have given that have worked for someone else.
Suggestions that may help your body become more prepared for having a baby
- If you are over weight, try to change your life style by eating better and exercising a little bit each day. Even 10 minutes of exercise can make a big difference if you have not been exercising at all.
- For those of us who are on medications, make sure you take them, if they arent working talk to your doctor about trying something else.
-If you have questions ask them, no matter what they are, how little they seem to be. If you have a question that you think is silly or doesnt make any sense please please ask them, those questions are more often then not the questions that can make a huge difference in your journey.
-Find away to get your mind,emotions and feelings balanced out. If you do this by a support group, medications, writing in a journal, blogging, whatever it is that makes you calm and happy.
The most important thing is to NOT blame yourself for what happened. It is not your fault that your body is producing chemicals and hormones in the wrong way. You can not control what you do not know about. All you can do is keep the faith and work with your doctors. Communicate with them about everything. Ask lots and lots of questions, dont let your doctors push you aside and tell you they do not have time for it. If you cant get the answers you are looking for from the doctors, reach out to other people that are on a journey much like yours. Nobody has the same two journeys so you may find your answers by reading or talking to someone who is going down a journey like yours. Ask for help, support and anything that you need.
As always I am here for any of you any time of the day. Feel free to contact me with any concerns, comments or questions.
Resources:
http://pcos.insulitelabes.com/pcos-and-miscarriage.php
www.pcos.about.com/od/relatedconditions/f/miscarriage.htm
www.miscarriage.about.com/od/endocrinefactors/i/obesity.htm
Obesity and Miscarriage-The link between body weight and Pregnancy loss
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! Warm wishes and baby dust being sent out to all of you!
Tabitha
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